It’s been a few months since I started this fabulous blog with my mom and friend. Do you remember WHY I started it? I have to remind myself of that sometimes…I was a discouraged mess. Completely discouraged with the idea of exercise, eating right and whatever else I was supposed to be doing.
I have ALWAYS worked out folks. I have ran two half-marathons and I have always watched what I ate. But my weight NEVER changed. My daughter is 6 now and my weight was the same a month after she was born up until about 1.5 months ago. Do you know how insanely frustrating that can be? I’m sure some of you do.
In fact, I actually wrote about it on my other blog a few months ago (actually April 10th) and I thought I would share it here….here ya go:
Dear Tennis Shoes,
It has been 4 weeks since I last wore you. Please forgive me.
I don’t know how it happened. I used to wear you 4-5 times a week. I paid attention to you. I was proud to wear you. I made time for you. I cared for you…I swear I still do! I used to pick out outfits to match you. I had charms that I happily wore on your laces to show my pride for our last run.
I have wronged you. Please forgive me. It’s not you…it’s me. I have no excuses.
Well, I could probably come up with a long list of excuses:
- I got busy
- The house is a mess
- The kids had more activities
- The kids homework got harder
- My living room still has a cement floor
- I have been doing too much
- The laundry never seems to be done
- My sink is still full of dishes
- Dinner has to be made
- Lunches have to be packed
It’s not you, it’s me.
Honestly, my life really hasn’t changed dramatically in the last 4 weeks, in fact I would say it’s about the same. I don’t all of a sudden have more dishes, more laundry, more meals to make, and more activities.
Do you want to know the truth? Well, here it is. I am discouraged. Discouraged to the point of acting childish. Sadie (my youngest) is 6 years old and I have weighed the same for 6 YEARS. I run, I bike, I swim, I Jazzercise, I watch what I eat. And I have not lost a pound. Not one folks. For SIX YEARS. Don’t give me the line that muscle weighs more than fat…I know that. Lord knows I have told that to myself a hundred times. But for six years I have worked my butt off…have run 13.1 MILES twice and not lost one pound. I have switched up my routines, I have done soooooo so much. And I am hurt. I am sad. I am sad that those tennis shoes haven’t given me one POUND off. So, I boycotted you, tennis shoes. I’m not saying it was right, but that’s what I did.
And do you want to know the kicker?! Someone asked me last week if I lost weight – they said I looked thinner! Normally that would be a compliment that would make me happy, but after knowing that I haven’t worked out in 4 weeks it just makes me MAD. Yes, MAD. So, my dear tennis shoes – I will tell you – I am MAD at you too!
I don’t understand why you don’t help me lose weight. I don’t understand what you may have against me.
But, I do understand that I am mad at me too. I understand that these 4 weeks I have not given me the attention I deserve. So, not only have I wronged you, dear tennis shoes, by ignoring you all this time, but I have wronged me. I know that when I wear you, I feel better about myself. When I wear you, I know I am giving me 30-60 minutes of me time. When I am wearing you, I am keeping myself healthy. When I wear you, I am a happier version of me. So, even though that damn number on the scale NEVER moves, I know when I wear you…I am doing what is right by me.
So I ask of you dear tennis shoes, please forgive me and know that I am aware of my ways and I am planning RIGHT NOW to right my wrongs.
Dear Tennis Shoes, I am sorry. Dear Tennis Shoes, it’s not you, it is me. Dear Tennis Shoes, please forgive me. Dear Tennis Shoes, I promise to be a better friend….a better me.
Dear ME, I promise I will try not to be so hard on myself. Dear ME, I promise to read what I just typed….
Shortly after I wrote that letter, my mom and dad came down to St. Augustine and we went too. My mom looked AMAZING (she still does of course..) and she inspired ME to get back on track – she inspired me to lace up those tennis shoes and start again…she inspired ME to be a better me. And together we now write on this site to hopefully inspire you too…but to also keep US on track.
So, if you get discouraged, frustrated, mad and just want to give up like I did…find your inspiration….lace up those tennis shoes…I promise you – you will be glad that you did.
I am also happy to report that for the first time in SIX YEARS I have lost weight, I am happily down 5 pounds and am working very hard at losing another 3.
So – stay with me folks – we can do this – YOU can do this – I can do this! I believe you, I believe in ME. I actually have tears running down my face as I am finishing this up – this journey can be emotional folks – but aren’t GOOD THINGS WORTH FIGHTING FOR?!
Everyone gets discouraged sometimes, just don’t give up on yourself.
You are AMAZING.